Friend Crimes: “Sisters are doing it for themselves, not stealing each other’s men!”

So wailed a distressed (and, ah, *tipsy*) Colleen after hearing her friend Madge stole her date Ronnie – after initialling setting them up AND on her birthday! Friend crime alert! It seems that no matter what your age, friend crimes still happen and still hurt like hell.

Madge, Madge, Madge. We’re sure that Ronnie was a Golden Oldie spunk, with his nifty socks-and-sandals combination, the devilish twinkle in his good eye and a trick hip that just won’t quit, but nothing forgives this behaviour.

We’ve all been there: your friend confesses their not-so-secret crush on The Boy At The Bus-Stop and you offer to play middle man. If your wily ways can’t get these two together, nothing will! But gosh darnit, The Boy At The Bus-Stop turns out to be your IDEAL guy! As hot as Kim, as quirky as Robbie and as sweet as Lucas – hello perfect boyfriend!

The Love Gods have obviously thrown this curveball your way and you’ve got your pitcher’s mask on and are jumping up and down on home base screaming ‘I’m open, I’m open!’ like your life depended on it (duh, it does). Once you turn the charm on this sucker is yours and you have your friend to thank for… oh yeah. Your friend… Hmmm.

Well surely she won’t mind right? She wants you to be happy, and she wouldn’t be a real friend if she didn’t. There’s plenty more fish in the sea and you’re sorry, but you know for a fact that you and The Boy At The Bus-Stop are meant to be together in that Jack and Martha you’ll-end-up-on-bended-knee-proposing-and-living-happily-ever-after way.

Cue loud annoying siren: BEEP BEEP BEEP.

Stop. Just stop right there. Now take a few steps backwards. Take the pitcher’s mask off and listen closely. If you wanna lose your good, trusted friend for this total random whose name you don’t even know (and ‘Bus-Stop Guy’ does NOT count), go right ahead and commit the friendship crime of the year.

But if you want to do the right thing like a good person and not start turning into an uber-biatch shunned by Summer Bay, stamp that burgeoning crush out pronto. There are plenty more boy-fish in the sea but friend-fish are much harder to find.

You strike us as someone who finds it hard to deny themselves pleasure but if you keep this kind of behaviour up, you’ll end up a pro at denying yourself friends too. Unfortunately the world is not an all-you-can-eat buffet starring Population You. It’s like the Beatles song says, you’ll get by with a little help from your friends. Friends first. Boys at Bus-Stops second. Now go suss out the train station.

Summer Bay residents have committed their fair share of Friend Crimes – who do you think has committed the worst one? Write to us at homeandaway@seven.com.au.